Have you ever wondered: “what do I do with the negative thoughts I feel?”
Mr. Fred Rogers asked children a similar question about what children can do with the mad they feel. It is a good question to ask when we are emotionally tasked with a challenging situation. For effective emotion regulation, adults can address negative thoughts and perceptions. Identifying negative thoughts starts with awareness. We can reflect on our negative thoughts to determine how they make us feel (Hole & McEntee, 1999). Stop and take a deep breath (Kamenetz, 2016). Inhale and exhale. Once calm, ponder how the thought makes you feel. What do you have to support or show that the negative thought is valid? Invalid? What could be a more accurate or different way to think about the negative thought? Sometimes we need to change the channel on thoughts like we do with the radio or television.
Compassion fatigue is real and can be a barrier to creating connections. We can address compassion fatigue by starting with ourselves to take time for self-care (Parlakian, Kinsner, & Gehl, 2018). Using praise and positive language is beneficial for children, as well as each other when we collaborate on teams. We can continue to strengthen the ways we build one another up by working on it everyday through communication and positive interactions (Goodwin, 2015; Jennings et al., 2017; Patti et al., 2018). Productive and positive conversations can be a foundation for trusting relationships.
If we create opportunities to practice, reflect, and monitor progress we can continue to get better. High-quality talk is something we can exercise like a muscle. What we practice all the time can become part of a more lasting or permanent repertoire. Practice does NOT make perfect. Instead practice makes permanent. What we practice again and again can stick. Reflect on feelings. Through reflections we can take time to ponder, wonder, and see the world and try to make sense of our feelings.
References
Goodwin, B. (2015). Getting unstuck. Educational Leadership, 72. Retrieved from www.ascd.org/publications/educational-leadership/jun15/vol72/num09/Getting-Unstuck.aspx
Hole, S. & McEntee, G. H. (1999). Reflection is at the heart of practice. Educational Leadership, 56(8). Retrieved from http://www.ascd.org/publications/educational-leadership/may99/vol56/num08/Reflection-Is-at-the-Heart-of-Practice.aspx
Jennings, P.A., Frank, J.L., Doyle, S., Oh, Y., Rasheed, D., DeWeese, A., Cham, H., Brown, J.L., Davis, R., DeMauro, A.A., & Greenberg, M.T. (2017). Impact of the CARE for teachers program on teachers’ social and emotional competence and classroom interactions. Journal of Educational Psychology, 109(7), 1010-28.
Kamenetz, A. (2016). When teachers take a breath, students can bloom. National Public Radio. Retrieved from https://www.npr.org/sections/ed/2016/08/19/488866975/when-teachers-take-a-breath-students-can-bloom
Parlakian, R., Kinsner, K., & Gehl, M. (2018). Mindfulness for early childhood professionals. Zero to Three. Retrieved from https://www.zerotothree.org/resources/2269-mindfulness-for-early-childhood-professionals
Patti, J., Holzer, A., Stern, R., Floman, J., & Brackett, M. (2018). Leading with emotional intelligence. Educational leadership, 75. Retrieved from http://www.ascd.org/publications/educational-leadership/summer18/vol75/num09/Leading-With-Emotional-Intelligence.aspx